Reports from the $27 million Creation Museum

1969179733_d62b12a8b0_o.jpg I MUST refer you to John Sclazi’s blog posting on his visit to the Creation Museum in Kentucky. From what I gather he actually raised $5,ooo bucks for Americans United for the Separation of Church and State. The insight of a non Christian into Christianity is, in my opinion, frankly brilliant. Maybe even more than what he wrote, I enjoyed his Flickr photos and the captions and comments posted. I hope it doesn’t make me a bad follower of Jesus to really get a kick out of this. I am actually starting to be okay with the questions that really never got good answers in the traditional, conservative, fundamental evangelical tradition that I grew up in. My favorite, I think, is the photo of the dino eating a coconut. All mention of t-rex’s eating vegetables… I knew… That’s the answer!

Here’s a snippet:

Let me say this much: I have to admit admiration for the pure balls-out, high-octane creationism that’s on offer here. Not for the Creation Museum that mamby-pamby weak sauce known as “Intelligent Design,” which tries to slip God by as some random designer, who just sort of got the ball rolling by accident. Screw that, pal: The Creation Museum’s God is hands on! He made every one of those animals from the damn mud and he did it no earlier than 4004 BC, or thereabouts. It’s all there in the book, son, all you have to do is look. Indeed, every single thing on display in the Creation Museum is either caused by or a consequence of exactly three things:

1. The six-day creation;

2. Adam eating from the tree of life;

3. Noah’s flood.

Really, that’s it. That’s the Holy Trinity of explanations and rationalizations. And thus we learn fascinating things. Did you know, for example, that Adam is responsible not only for the fall of man, but also for the creation of venom? It didn’t exist in the Garden of Eden, because, well. Why would it? Weeds? Adam’s fault. Carnivorous animals (and, one assumes, the occasional carnivorous plant)? Adam again. Entropy? You guessed it: Adam. Think about that, won’t you; eat one piece of fruit and suddenly you’re responsible for the inevitable heat death of the universe. God’s kind of mean.

And in regards to fitting animals (including “about fifty” DINOSAURS) on the ark:

One has to think, given the immense number of “land animal” species we know exist, that Noah and his family must have been masters of the long neglected art of animal stacking, as well as masters of the art of animal paralyzing, as well as animal convincing them not to pee or poop so much-ing. Let’s face it, they would just have to rock the animal husbandry skill set in ways we can’t even begin to imagine. They were like the secret ninjas of animal handling. And oh my GOD how they and the ark must have smelled after a month or two.

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