Category Archives: family

Sitting with this for a while…

It’s been a while since I’ve been here. Not so much because I haven’t had things to write… quite the contrary. Not even so much that it sure is difficult to type when four out of my eight fingers are cold… this happens when it gets cold inside and out. There is very uneven heating and part of my body is cold and the rest is okay. No, I suppose I have stayed away more because that is the time of season that it is.

434815943_5646db1217_b.jpgI am in this place where I need to sit for a while. A time of listening, a time of questioning… not the questioning of cynicism but of really trying to find the root of things. The root of people. It is a questioning in hope, knowing that there is more to learn and I can begin to learn it. There is more to be aware of… and I can live more in that awareness. Thoughts of real presence… mine with others and God’s with me.

So I am in this place and it takes more time. It is a slower place. One of conscious thought and purposeful intent. There is so much to be thankful for. It’s Tim’s birthday today. This is special as he has completed another year… one that he may very well not have completed. After his accident, I have seen more and more LIFE gently move into his body and heart. I hope and pray that he continues to be one who brings LIFE into those he is present with.

Another thing I’m sitting with… A good friend, who is part of our emerging community, said the other night, that in his ability to see the flaws in many things (I’ll admit, I am the same way), or at least question things, he only sees one flaw in our growing community here in Bend, Oregon. He doesn’t see some of our participants enough. The only flaw! This is so encouraging to me, and yet makes me think how we might grow as a community even more.

And maybe the biggest thing I am sitting with… my own gifts and my own shortcomings. I was reminded of this at church this morning by Tim, as we reflected on our future relationship and the encouragements that we have. I am so thankful that God has given me direction and awareness of my own gifts and strengths. I want so desperately to live in this. And yet, as I sit at home on a Saturday night, I ask myself, “What is a single 27 year old guy to do when he is alone and the night is young.” I wrestle and I question and fight. And my own shortcomings, my weaknesses, my insecurities rise to the surface. So, when someone asks me this morning, “Are you happy?”, I can only respond, “I am content… I am at peace… Sometimes, I suppose, I am happy.” Let me sit with this for a while…

“Porpoise Diving Life” – Bill Dahl everyone!!


Originally uploaded by On Porpoise

It’s been a while since I wrote anything. I guess this Thanksgiving has just been a restful and quiet time. I have been writing, but more journaling anything else.

I want to give a shout-out to my dear friend, and sort of adopted “dad” here in Oregon. He is the author of the book, The Porpoise Diving Life. You can read the whole thing online, but probably the coolest thing is that he just got it published on audio. Check it out here.

To give you an idea of where Bill’s heart is, I think this endorsement by Jim Henderson is great:

Bill Dahl – God’s Screenwriter!

“For a number of years I’ve been telling people to read the bible as if it were a movie. In his devotional for the discouraged Bill suggests something similar when he asks people to temporarily ignore what Jesus said and instead observe who he hung out with, where he walked and how he seemed to feel about his numerous interactions with ordinary people. Bill playfully transports us into a journey within God’s blue ocean through the life of a porpoise. He masterfully leads us deeper into the heart of God’s reality through the simple act of observing what is happening right in front of all of us. His insights and experience with the discouraged, wounded, curious and marginalized are poignant, humorous and above all very, very real. Bill is one of today’s spiritual revolutionaries who is attempting to rescue Jesus from religion and give him back to everyday people.

The Porpoise Diving Life explores what it looks like if we were more interested in being real than in being religious. Human beings want to know two things

1) That I am not alone

2) That I am not stupid (well not the only stupid person)

The Porpoise Diving Life provides a place for you to meet people who understand these feelings and fears and have resigned from religion and are exploring new ways of following Jesus that are real.”

By Jim Henderson – co-founder and Executive Director of Off The Map and the author of a.k.a. lost – connecting with the people Jesus misses most, and Jim & Casper Go To Church – Frank conversation about faith, churches, and well-meaning Christians. Jim is an innovative thinker and passionately committed to normalizing evangelism for ordinary Christians.

Settlers online: No longer restricted by being alone

Okay, so this is nerdy…

Last week, as I was talking to my brother Greg in MN, he mentioned that our brother Tim, who is in WI, has been playing Settlers online. “No WAY!!” I thought. “This is crazy. We gotta get a game going.” Well, we ended up connecting up with Tim, got on Skype conference call, and got a game going!

Now, I should give some context. My siblings and I(I’m the oldest), four in five years, are close. We all lived in Minneapolis / St Paul area together and hung out almost weekly. We were all in school together, Brittany and I at Bethel. Greg and Tim at University of MN. Well, through life’s crazy events, Tim went to Germany and then came back to WI. Britt’s working full time. I’m out in Bend, OR. Greg and his wife moved a little further away from the cities. We got fragmented. That’s really hard being in this new place and having the family so far away.

Settlers of Catan comes into the picture with my brothers and I. We are pretty addicted… and when it comes to Bettger intensity, there is just nothing that brings it out like a good game of Settlers. Table talk, manipulation, ganging up, laughs, inside jokes and terminology. I usually lose, Greg usually wins. Well, when I found out that we could now play even though we are are so far apart, I am hooked.  Not too mention that I can now practice without having to get the board out. It’s amazing! I suppose I’m okay with this kind of nerdy.

We have a game going tonight. And yah, I’ll probably waste ’em.

Prayers for Dan Kimball

Be praying for Dan Kimball as his dad passed away today. It happened completely out of the blue, which is something that is really hard for me. I remember the past two years for me with the accidents of my grandpa and my brother Tim. I wonder at the strangeness and surrealness that result from  love one being seriously suffering all of a sudden and not knowing what I can do.

I also wonder at the absolute nonsensical miraculous healing of some and the craziness of the loss of others. I cannot explain why this happens. Life is so fragile and the things that happen here on this earth are so intimately connected with our spirits. These types of things effect us on a deeper level than can be expressed. Dan, my prayers are with you.