This really captures it… so much of the time.
…I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light and the stillness the dancing…
~ T.S. Elliot, “East Coker”
This reminds me of Rilke’s Letters… the works we are going through in Spiritual Integration classes. I feel this way so often. Lately, it has been around the question of vocation. How do I continue doing what I know I am supposed to do… and do it for no pay. This is such a tough question, as in our society and educational system there is not much support for this type of question. More so, we are encouraged to thing about practicality and reality… Do what you can to make money now… if you work hard enough (even if you hate your job) you might get the chance to do what you really want to do later. My fear is that many of us forget. Many of us get stuck with and in the system. So by the time we are able, we no longer remember what it was that we really wanted to do.
I cannot oppose this enough! There must be the waiting. There must be the searching. Whether we are in our teens… whether we are in our late twenties… whether we are in our mid-forties… or even contemplating the end of our lives. We MUST sit in “the stillness” and wait in “the darkness.” Even if it takes years. Let us not forget, let us not get stuck. This is my life work: offering a hand, an arm, a peace in that searching place.