I read somewhere that in times of tragedy or injustice, the one to truly be mad at is God. It doesn’t pay to be mad at those involved as it often turns to hatred, but to be mad at God is healthiest thing we can do. If anyone can handle our anger it is God. If anyone can do anything with our anger it is God. And so I vent it all… knowing there are those who are hurting deeper, yelling more vehemently, and crying harder. My dear friend Keith was killed in on his bike yesterday on his way home from work.
It was too early, God. Too damn early… I hurt as much for his two sons and wife as I do for losing him. He was one of the best fathers I know… and I don’t say that lightly. He was. Of all the men at our church, I probably felt closest to him. The hikes, the mountain bike rides, the times over for dinner, hanging out over a beer, men’s group. He reached out to me so much… he understood where I am coming from. I know his family so well. I know his mom. God… the pain…
A bike accident happens so fast. I hear about so many of them, but so few are fatal… and I never anticipate knowing the person. Last summer, it was my brother Tim on his motorcycle in Germany… but he was going 100 miles per hour and survived… miraculously, yes, and still recovering, but he is with us now. Keith is gone. With a bicycle, on a street 4 blocks from my house… I realize this could happen to any of us. Why Keith, God? Why Keith? I guess I don’t really have answers or even the right questions. I feel the hole… and I know there are so many whose emptiness is even more than I can imagine.
One thought on “Mad at God”
I’ve been mulling this post over. I’ve been hard hit by Keith’s passing, even though I never knew him. As a cyclist it’s a bitter pill to swallow – There by the grace of God go I.
However, in an instant Revelation 4 became a reality to Keith. That is something I envy. Since then he has met Abraham, Moses, Peter, John. He’s been reunited with family members and friends, he’s actually seen the Glory of the Risen Lord.
I have no answers for the Why? I don’t know why his wife and children were left here to trudge on. But Hallelujah! We will see him again.
I feel that his wife and children will have a special ministry that never could have happened otherwise. Does it dull the pain? Oh no. But it gives hope for the future and that is a vital ingredient for getting through the dark times.