Longing, looking for that safe place
That Space where I don’t have to hide,
Where I can face Others
with honesty and presence
Growing up… starting on this journey
Hoping to find it in the family
Inherent in the blood that runs between us
The first confusing messages
Doing the best we could…
But wounds and patterns of thinking run deep
I look to those of like mind
Ones who are supposed to be following Jesus…
or so they say. Safe? Real?
Aware of the pain that I so often Feel?
Thanks for the guilt and the easy answers
The judgment and the stones
Times I’ve been tempted to find it in the government
Those talking heads on the tube
Telling me everything is going to be better
That they can keep me safe within these walls.
The enemy is out there somewhere
As long as we have freedom… there is nothing to fear
If anything, my own home should be a refuge
From what’s happening out there.
Hole up, hide, duck back, close the shades.
They can’t get me here…
But I forget about myself.
Alone, I have to face myself… often far from safe.
Questions doubt fear uncertainty guilt unknown confusion
And God, aren’t you supposed to be safe
Predictable and easy to please?
Aren’t good things supposed to come to those who wait?
Or to those who love you?
Apparently, you are not safe all the time either…
What now, then? Where is the safety? Why so elusive?