Tonight is the night… they decide whether I stay or whether I go… The group that is there to be led by the Spirit in making decisions for the community… will they hear the same spirit that so many of us hear?

2008, you hang in balance on this night. One way and I will sigh in relief, rejoicing in a year of partnership and promise. The other way, and I sigh a sigh of “Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap…” Time to get creative and find another way to keep doing what God has made me to do.

I have done as much as I am going to be able to do. I have communicated as clearly as I could have. Now I sit and wait.

Trying to just breathe. Trying to keep that breath coming. The candles burn in threes. Incense. Sigur Ros, Celtic, sacred choral… loud. All saying, “Breathe, Nate, breathe… let this thing happen.”

Dreaming dreams of future… conversations, relationships, life on life… tales to be told, music to be played, lives to be changed… I am a part of it.