Why I don’t want to tell you about my intentions

Having moved to Oshkosh now, some six weeks ago, I have set some intentions that I hope will move towards change. I don’t like to tell people of the things that I hope to change ahead of time, because I have, so many times before, passed from one thing to the next before any real habit sinks in. Fads, my friends call them. And yes, there is truth to that. So I keep a lot of these intentions to myself until they are well under way.

Now that I am here, though, in this new community, with a new climate a new schedule new rhythms new house new job and new habitat, some things feel easier. An easier flow. So rather than saying, as I have said so many times before, I want to write more or I think I want to start working out at the gym, I wait until I can say I am a writer (or I really enjoy my regular writing routine) and I work out on a regular basis. These are things that I already do. I set the intention a long time ago, I just didn’t share it with you. Make sense? Maybe? I guess it doesn’t really have to make sense to anyone else as long as I am doing it. I’d rather doing something well and consistently than talk about it. But that’s just me. Unless you are talking a lot about something you have not really committed to doing… then we have something else to talk about.

Maybe I don’t want to talk about my intentions simply because I am afraid of failure. That very well could be true as well. If I tell you and then don’t follow through, it feels like failure, and God knows I really don’t want to fail. I don’t know… it’s all a part of my own process, just like you have your own process, and the person who just got a cancer diagnosis or that conservative pastor or the homeless guy on the street all have their own processes.

So now that I am in this new place, I’m just doing stuff. I don’t want to talk about it too much. I trust my heart and what God has taught me these last many years and I trust the wisdom that I have gleaned from those who have come before. I am going to do it, and I’m going to do it fully. How about you?

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