Finding my voice

I am beginning a course at George Fox Seminary called The History of Christian Spirituality and Renewal. I am eating it up… loving the opportunity to explore the depths of the tradition I call my own. At the same time, I am learning so much of my own ancestral lineage (at and how my heritage fits into the story of England, the United States, and Christianity. Fascinating!
I have known at a very early age that my life is to be about guiding people on the spiritual path. And yet, for so long, I really didn’t understand what benefit Christianity offered to the world other than security in the afterlife. It is only after being in Bend, OR, where so many of my community really don’t want to have anything to do with Christianity or the church that I am learning what I have to offer. It is an interesting journey to learn the joy of my spiritual tradition from engaging in community with those who don’t practice it.
And yet, I still haven’t found my voice. I know the “what” but I don’t understand the “how” yet. My heart is overflowing these days as I study, research, write, and contemplate the depth at which I desire to engage the world around me. Here I am, resonating so deeply with Celtic spirituality, Christian mysticism, creation spirituality, indigenous and wisdom-based cultures, elements of Shamanism and Native American spirituality, masculine / feminine spirituality, psychology… and at the same time so very committed to the reality that is Christ in the world.
The clarity of my offering is within me somewhere. These times at present are so focused on living it, experimenting, and experiencing. My writing is not always clear. My speaking is often incomplete and jumbled… a heartfelt, and often spirit-led “BLEGH” of thoughts that come to me in the moment. I know… I feel… and yet I am so often still a baby trying to get my legs under me.

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