Death to trust

Here are a few things I have found that kill trust:

  • Any thinking (even if it is never said) that we know better how someone might think or act.
  • Any comments or thoughts of “should” or “shouldn’t”, more or less “appropriate,” “right way” or “wrong way” to do something, etc.
  • Fixing
  • Judging
  • Correcting
  • Interruptions
  • Text messaging or taking a call while the other is talking
  • Turning the conversation to a focus on me rather than the other. This is very easy to do with stories.
  • Comparing pain, busyness, challenging times, etc. stories. We are not in community to “one up” each other with who has the harder life.
  • “Leading” questions. Is it about our agenda or theirs? Who needs who here?
  • Needing the other person to be a certain way
  • Not saying out loud what your body is telling them loud and clear
  • Trying to cover up what is really going on inside us.

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