This Monday morning finds me frayed. I want so desperately to be on top of my game and able to say that I am doing something worthwhile, moving in the right direction, being a success… and all of this things are fleeting. I have no firm grasp on the “state of things” and “my place in this world.” All I have confidence in is that I am where God wants me to be and that it is my deepest desire to be true to living and leading like Jesus. This is all I have.

And so I am grasping for trust. I want to trust that God will use me in a big way. No, not big in terms of numbers or size, but merely a significant way. I make some sort of difference… but I don’t know where to begin. All I know is to do what I can with what is placed in front of me. This is difficult for me now.

Fleeting… fleeting..